


Everyone knows Prince Noctis hates veggies

by Seito



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen, Noctis has been "betrayed" by his best friend, Vegetables, how is this his life anymore?, this is all prompto's fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 22:57:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17927981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seito/pseuds/Seito
Summary: One of the most well-known facts in all of Eos was that Prince Noctis hated vegetables.One of the highest classified top secrets in all of Eos was that Prince Noctis loved vegetables.(Except carrots. Carrots were the epitome of evil.)





	Everyone knows Prince Noctis hates veggies

Water was wet. The sky was blue. And everyone who was anyone knew without an absolute single doubt that Prince Noctis **hated** vegetables.

There were countless evidence and key witnesses. The truth spoken from the Prince's own mouth, confirmed by the King himself.

It started with a single interview when Noctis was ten, broadcast all across Lucis. He insisted vegetables were evil and that he hated them. It was met with coos and awes, something precious that a child would say.

But it never stopped. To the public's general amusement, his answer that vegetables were the evilest thing in the world never changed, even as he grew older. King Regis, when asked in his own separate interview would confirm yes, his son did hate vegetables with a fond but exasperated huff. Fast food restaurants who frequently served the Prince and his friends would receive plates back with the side vegetables untouched, or witness how the Prince would pull out the lettuce and tomato in his burger and add them to one of his retainers plates (who looked well resigned to this). His classmates witness the high-level bartering that took place every day between Prince Noctis and Prompto during lunch, swapping vegetables for starches, even a precious dessert or two. The chefs at the Citadel lamented over what a fussy eater their beloved Prince was (but they never gave up, constantly sending vegetables with every meal they made for him).

It reached across the ocean, spreading across Eos. It got to the point that the First Secretary of Accord would send her yearly holiday greeting basket of cheese and wine and an amused card that would often remark “enjoy the food that your vegetable-hating son will like”. (Regis always laughed at it. Noctis always scowled.) Luna still poked fun at Noctis regarding his vegetable snobbery and Ravus had sent at least one scathing letter mocking him for being a child.

There were _memes_.

Everyone, _everyone_ , knew that Prince Noctis hated vegetables.

Which was why, at age 19, Noctis knew no one was ever allowed to find out that he kinda, sorta, did… _like_ vegetables.

(He was declaring it a classified top secret of the highest order. So high, his dad wasn't even allowed to know.)

Noctis didn't even know why everyone made such a big deal over him hating vegetables. Gladio hated bell pepper. Ignis thought eggplant should be banished off the face of the planet. Prompto had _opinions_ about brussel sprouts. His dad didn't like carrots either.

And that was before you got into people's taste buds changing!

If Cor was allowed to go through his vegetables hating stage when he was a teenager and come out still well respected, Noctis didn't see why it was such a big deal. Then again, Clarus still ribbed Cor about this, twenty-something years later so… yes, no one was allowed to find out that Noctis liked vegetables.

Ugh, he blamed Prompto for this.

This was all Prompto's fault. That was right! His fault! This all started when Prompto took home the wrong bin of leftovers, taking Noctis’ amazing leftover alfredo pasta and leaving behind his cranberry walnut salad with balsamic raspberry vinaigrette.

That had been a sad night.

-.-.-

It was 11 pm at night and Noctis was hungry.

And the only leftovers in the apartment was Prompto's salad.

Because that traitor had taken home Noctis’ pasta!!!

Ignis had confiscated all of the cup of noodles, proclaiming them unhealthy. There were a few groceries left that Noctis could cook something, but Ignis had made him promise not to cook anything without Ignis there. (Which, rude. Noctis could totally cook. Just because of one little incident with the pressure cooker and he were banned forever from cooking by himself. He could handle the microwave just fine!)

Leaving to go buy something was absolutely out of the question. Not only could that cause several heart attacks this late at night, dealing with security was not on his to-do list. Plus Noctis was trying to be good, now that he had graduated from high school. Sure his dad was starting to make noise about him moving back into the Citadel, which okay kinda made sense, but he was trying to put it off as long as possible. Doing something stupid like sneaking out to get food was a one-way ticket back to the Citadel without any input to him.

He couldn't exactly order delivery for similar reasons. He would need to look somewhat presentable, not in his pajamas (scandals! And what if they sent a _girl_? Even more scandals!) Why wasn't it socially acceptable to get food delivery at 11 pm at night?

He wasn't going to call Ignis either. Ignis needed sleep and Noctis wasn't a spoiled Prince no matter what people said. Getting Ignis to sleep and rest was like trying to squeeze water from a stone. Noctis made it a point to draw nice clear lines of when Ignis was “off duty” which started at 5 pm every day unless Ignis was over cooking dinner (which nearly every day). Then it started after Ignis was done cooking (because there had been pointed threats about Noctis trying to cook, and again, it had been ONE time with the pressure cooker.) Either way, Noctis was not going to call Ignis for this.

He could call Gladio but Gladio had been making noise about training tomorrow and Noctis did not want to give him more ammunition.

Prompto, at this hour, was not even worth considering.

(No one messed with Gladio, not when he looked like that. Ignis had very sharp daggers, a driver license, and a car. Prompto didn't have any of those.)

Which left Noctis with Prompto's leftover salad.

And it was getting close to midnight. He had just wasted the last hour debating over eating salad.

True, he could go to bed. But seeing as he had tried that and had gotten out of bed at 11 pm because he was hungry, he didn't see how it would improve.

“Fine!” Noctis said. He grabbed a fork and opened up the container. Scowling at the leafy greens, he stabbed them furiously and stuffed them into his mouth before he could change his mind.

Oh.

_Oh._

This wasn’t… bad. The dressing was tangy and sweet. The walnuts were nutty, the cranberries sweet, the crunch of the leafy greens, all mixing together.

Before he knew it, the salad was polished off, leaving nothing behind. Surprisingly, he was rather full. Never had he thought vegetables would be filling before.

Quickly, Noctis washed his fork, disposal of the evidence, brushed his teeth again and headed off to bed. The most important thing now was sleep.

-.-.-

When he woke the next morning, the full impact of what he had done, and more importantly what he had thought about upon tasting hit him.

Noctis swore vehemently. “No one is allowed to find out about this.”

-.-.-

Prompto: [7:43am] dude, I hope you're awake.

Noctis: [7:43am] eh

Prompto: [7:44am] I do not envy Iggy trying to get you up every day.

Prompto: [7:45am] I noticed I took home your pasta. Bring my salad to school so I can eat it for breakfast.

Noctis: [7:45am] too late. Gone.

Prompto: [7:45am] Dude! Did you throw away my perfectly good salad?! Ugh, I'm going to eat your pasta for this.

Noctis: [7:46am] ୧(๑•̀ᗝ•́)૭

-.-.-

Of course, once you taste something good, the urge to have it again becomes nearly overwhelming.

Noctis had no idea that vegetables could even taste good. He had been so resistant to the idea of eating vegetables for years, that this was honestly, truly, mind-blowing to him.

(Unbeknownst to Noctis, Ignis had mastered several dishes that did contain vegetables and had been feeding it to Noctis for years. It was, of course, carefully masked among all other components of the dish, but they were there.)

So Noct was left with the dilemma that he wanted vegetables, but for once had none.

(Again, Ignis was never allowed to find out. Never!)

This called for strategy, this called for covert operations.

Namely, Noctis grabbed a jacket, a hat, sunglasses and went to the farthest market he could reach and bought vegetables.

(Thankfully there was this sweet old lady, practically blind, who helped him pick out what was good vegetables and not rotten ones. She even walked him through what brands were good for frozen vegetables, a recipe or two, and how a little bit of butter and herbs helped make them taste wonderful.)

Armed with vegetables and recipes safe for the microwave, Noctis began his discovery of the wonderful leafy greens and more.

Three months later, he could, in the privacy of his own head, declare the following. First, stir fry made every vegetable amazing. Second, he understood why Ignis and Prompto raved about soybeans; they were heavenly with just a bit of salt. Third, onions might be his newest favorite vegetable. Lastly, carrots were still the epitome of evil, no questions asked.

(All of this still fell under the highest top secret level ever.)

So life continued on. Noctis went on, secretly buying vegetables, staying up late into the night to make himself salads to munch on, and hiding all the evidence of his newfound obsession.

This was a secret he was going to take to the grave.

It was a shame it didn't happen that way.

-.-.-

Depending on who you asked (Prompto), one would tell you that there was no hiding anything from Ignis. Ignis was blessed to know all things, especially when it was food related.

(Noctis would never know, but Prompto also was having “food issues” and Ignis, of course, found out. But that was another story.)

Thus, naturally, Ignis found out about Noctis’ newfound love for vegetables.

It started innocently enough. Ignis was a meticulous cleaner in the kitchen, so to discover a skin of an onion fallen behind the trash can had been odd enough, especially since Ignis hadn't cooked anything with onions since his last cleaning. Then it was the subtle uptick of spending on Noctis’ allowance. Usually, it was not a bad sign as there were certain new video games being released and other stressors like paperwork that may have increased spending to ‘treat himself’ but overall not worrying. The jars of peanut butter, the fresh stick of butter, the bag of dried fruit weren't strange per se, but the bag of croutons and bottle of salad dressing carefully hidden in the back of the fridge was mildly alarming. What sealed the deal was the bag of frozen soybeans that Ignis would have never bought that he found hidden in the freezer.

(This brand of soybeans was horribly expensive, marking their price up to market it as “foreign”. They weren’t foreign! They were grown here in Lucis! There were cheaper more equivalent brands of soybeans.)

Ignis knew what brand of soybeans he bought. He knew Prompto bought the same one and that Gladio and Noctis wouldn’t touch soybeans.

This was Noctis’ apartment.

Noctis was eating _**vegetables**_.

The realization hit Ignis like a train. It was enough that he dropped the bag of soybeans in surprise.

“You okay in there, Specs?” Noctis called from the living room.

“Just fine,” Ignis said hastily, quickly snatching up the bag of soybeans and placing it back into the freezer, hidden behind the ice cube trays and the tub of triple chocolate fudge ice cream that Noctis knew that Ignis hated. (Which in hindsight was an excellent reason why Ignis had never checked behind there before.)

“I see I need to restock your groceries,” Ignis said, scrambling to find an excuse.

Noctis peeked his head into the kitchen. “You know you don’t have to, right? I can shop on my own, Iggy.”

Oh, this wonderful silly boy. Ignis felt both equally warm at the thought that Noctis didn’t want to make Ignis’ job harder (and yes, it was in Ignis’ job description to buy groceries for Noctis) and exasperated because Noctis was still the Crown Prince who shouldn’t go groceries shopping by himself.

They, of course, got into plenty of fights about that when Noctis first moved in this apartment. Noctis rebelled by buying the unhealthiest thing he could get his hands on. So many cups of noodles and bars of chocolate. Eventually, they had compromised to get go shopping together, but as the years went by and Ignis had been swallowed by his own studies and Noctis learning how to be more independent, Ignis had compromised again to let Noctis do his own shopping every other week.

“We can go together?” Ignis offered. “I was thinking of making roasted brussel sprouts for dinner.”

Noctis, predictably, scrunched up his face and made a gagging noise. “Yuck. We’re not having brussel sprouts, Specs.”

Ignis sighed, but mentally smiled. “You’re going to have eat vegetables one day, Noct.”

“Never!”

-.-.-

Now that he knew what signs to look for, Ignis knew without a doubt that Noctis was indeed eating vegetables. The trace evidence was all there even if Ignis never saw the actual vegetables in question.

(He did, however, manage to lure Prompto into a conversation about soybean brands and which ones Prompto preferred. Sure enough, there was a switch in brands when Ignis checked behind the mostly empty tub of ice cream.)

It hurt that Noctis wouldn’t just come out and say that he did like vegetables, but well… perhaps Ignis understood. There were more than enough people who teased him about it, Ignis included.

He softly sighed and resolved to stop pushing the issue at hand.

Maybe one day Noctis would feel comfortable enough to reveal it.

It was a shame it didn't happen that way.

-.-.-

Noctis had been munching on celery, dipping it in the peanut butter as he flipped through the report that Ignis had left him. There was still a good three hours until Ignis got out his meeting and Noctis had been done by then.

“Noctis, I finished my meeting early-” Ignis stopped as he opened the front door, staring at Noctis.

Noctis equally frozen stared at Ignis before glancing at the celery in his hand.

“I saw nothing,” Ignis said hastily, slamming the door shut.

What.

Out of all the reactions Noctis expected Ignis to have, that was not one of them. What about the surprise? Where were the demands of when did he start to like vegetables? Or even why celery and peanut butter?

Did Ignis _know_? How long?

Celery dropping from his hand, Noctis scrambled after Ignis. He caught Ignis at the elevators, grabbing on Ignis’ sleeve. “Ignis! How long have you known?!” Noctis blurted out.

“Know? I know nothing,” Ignis quickly defended.

(When you flustered Ignis just enough, caught him off guard at the right moment, Ignis was a really horrible liar under pressure.)

“How long have you-” Noctis swallowed hard “-known that I like eating vegetables?”

Ignis paused, collecting himself. “A few months now,” he confessed. “You hid it well. There’s nothing obvious about extra jars of peanut butter and I would have even passed off the salad dressing as something you wanted for those fried chicken wings you like buying. But I found frozen soybeans in your freezer, that was a fairly obvious clue.”

Of course, it would have been the soybeans. Noctis should have known better than to buy more than three bags, no matter how cheap they were on sale. No matter his newfound love for vegetables, even he wasn’t willing to eat more than one bag in one sitting.

Noctis looked down, voice soft. “Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked.

Ignis reached out to place a finger under Noctis’ chin, forcing him to look at him. “Noctis, if you didn’t want to tell me, I was going to respect that,” Ignis said gently. “All that mattered to me was that you were finally eating them by your choice.”

“Oh,” Noctis said. He had noticed that Ignis had subtly dropped the whole ‘you should eat more vegetables, Noct’ conversation lately.

It… wasn’t… so bad that Ignis knew, right?

It was Ignis, after all.

“Hey Iggy?” Noctis said shyly. “I think I like vegetables.”

It felt a little like they were five and six again, sharing secrets between them for no one else to know.

Ignis smiled warmly. “Is that so?” he said. “Would you like me to cook you a few of my favorite dishes for your new favorites vegetables?”

Noctis lit up. “Really?”

“Of course, Noct.”

**Author's Note:**

> This all started one day because of Volxdo. Even if wasn't because of Volxdo, it was probably because of the pit crew because I did not set out to write this fic originally and yet here I am three months later after wrestling with it. 
> 
> Ah you sweet child Noctis. Welcome to the world of loving veggies. *pats*
> 
> Please leave a review on your way out :D


End file.
